Why am I not independently wealthy?

Lovelies,  I know it's just stuff, but I have a hankerin' to get some fancy-schmancy shoes!

Manolos, Valentinos, Choos, Loubitons & Weitzmans...  All of these names make my mouth water & make my face green with envy...

Here's some of the shoes I have on my wish list for when I marry a sheik.  Or perhaps a Pharaoh.  (They marry white chicks, right?)

For the first pair: Oh!  So Girly!  So pink!  So Monolo-licious!  So outrageously expensive!  (DAMN YOU, BARNEYS and your high price points!)  **Insert Visual: raise angry fists to God here**

I'm not a dude, but these Valentinos with the little bows make me hard.  Seriously.  

I think these will be the wedding shoes - a delicate chiffon layered Orsay pump by my favorite Italian Stallion of shoes: Mr. Manolo Blahnik.

Here's a spanky pair of Stewart Weitzmas that would do for the boardroom or the bedroom...  And honestly, if I were in these I'd be willingly done in the boardroom or the bedroom.  (Is it sad how close sexy shoes & sexual innuendos are related for me???  Maybe just a little.)

These lovely shoes are by far the most conservative - coming in just under $200.  Totally justifiable for a pair of Steward Weitzmans, no?  

Someday lovelies, when I'm a big Broadway star, these shoe companies I love so much will come to ME and ask me "Miss Musical, would you do us the honor of wearing our shoes to the Tony Awards?" 

Which I will promptly reply "Of course, bitches.  Of course."