Lovelies. I have a problem. Big problem: I like my friend. Not like as in "Let's hang out & grab an ice cream" like, but like as in "Why didn't I find him that attractive a few months ago and now I want to pretty much spend every waking moment with him?!"
And now I've got something in common with James VanDerBeeks character on Dawson's Creek: I'm totally crushin' on my friend who doesn't even know ANYTHING about the extent of my feelings for him.
Tragedy.
We get along famously and truly enjoy one anothers company. He's good for vollying ideas off of (I'd like to Volly some other things off him too - if you catch my drift - wink, wink!) and over all I think he's a fantastic human being. He makes me laugh, we enjoy similar things and I want to spend all my time with him. Plus I'm day dreaming now about him - which gets me into a whole world of hurt.
I feel such a sadness about this, my lovelies, because I'm almost 100% sure that he doesn't fancy me. He's had options to tell me. Lots of times that would've been appropriate, but it's never come up. Breaks my heart in half, as I hear him talk about how he wants to have a partner in crime ("Hello! I do Too!") a family ("Are you LISTENING - Me TOO!") and a fabulous person to spend his time with (I'M RIGHT HERE!!!!). Lovelies, frustration doesn't even begin to explain it.
But at the end of the day, he doesn't like girls with my physique - I know this for a fact. He's into rail-thin girls who are extremely beautiful. I am normal sized and girl-next-door pretty. It's a shame. (I know this makes him sound really shallow, and I sound like a brain-washed women. But I still like him all the same - does anyone have any good advice for me? I'm open to anything at this point.)
So why do I still like him? Is it that "you want what you can't have" syndromes? I sure hope that this crush goes away soon & I can forget about wanting a life of family, companionship & love with this man.
You may think that there's no way that he'd be into you, but you really don't know until you've looked him in the eyes and heard him say no.
ReplyDeleteOne night after a friendly just-friends-kind-of-dinner with the Maestro, I stopped myself from walking to my car. I turned around and told him that I had to get my feelings for him off my chest. I told him I didn't expect him to feel the same way or to even say anything in response. I planned on walking back to my car after I said what I had to say and then pretending that nothing had happened in the morning. He stopped me and told me he felt the same way and just hadn't figured out how to articulate it to me yet. 3.5 happy years later, we're still going strong.
I thought the same thing. I thought there was no way that he would like someone like me, and it turns out that we're perfect for each other. It's worth just putting it out there in the open so that years down the road when you all are reminiscing about that "totally unfortunate time in your life when you were crushing on him," he doesn't say "oh really? I wish I would've known. I felt the same way but moved on."
Just because boys have plenty of opportunity doesn't mean that they use it. And if it turns out that he doesn't feel the same way, that will at least be the closure you need to move on and place your affections in another pot. That's my 2 cents at least. Matters of the heart are definitely never easy.