Lovelies. I have a problem. Big problem: I like my friend. Not like as in "Let's hang out & grab an ice cream" like, but like as in "Why didn't I find him that attractive a few months ago and now I want to pretty much spend every waking moment with him?!"
And now I've got something in common with James VanDerBeeks character on Dawson's Creek: I'm totally crushin' on my friend who doesn't even know ANYTHING about the extent of my feelings for him.
Tragedy.
We get along famously and truly enjoy one anothers company. He's good for vollying ideas off of (I'd like to Volly some other things off him too - if you catch my drift - wink, wink!) and over all I think he's a fantastic human being. He makes me laugh, we enjoy similar things and I want to spend all my time with him. Plus I'm day dreaming now about him - which gets me into a whole world of hurt.
I feel such a sadness about this, my lovelies, because I'm almost 100% sure that he doesn't fancy me. He's had options to tell me. Lots of times that would've been appropriate, but it's never come up. Breaks my heart in half, as I hear him talk about how he wants to have a partner in crime ("Hello! I do Too!") a family ("Are you LISTENING - Me TOO!") and a fabulous person to spend his time with (I'M RIGHT HERE!!!!). Lovelies, frustration doesn't even begin to explain it.
But at the end of the day, he doesn't like girls with my physique - I know this for a fact. He's into rail-thin girls who are extremely beautiful. I am normal sized and girl-next-door pretty. It's a shame. (I know this makes him sound really shallow, and I sound like a brain-washed women. But I still like him all the same - does anyone have any good advice for me? I'm open to anything at this point.)
So why do I still like him? Is it that "you want what you can't have" syndromes? I sure hope that this crush goes away soon & I can forget about wanting a life of family, companionship & love with this man.
